Well This Is A First For Me....

Well this is a first for me....

Well, as the title says, this is the first time I have ever written a blog. Thought i should start typing my daily life down as one day i might well forget how things used to be.

So. Today is 17th of May 2011. This is my first blog entry so i shall say a little about myself first ( I say little, but it ould go on a while so you get the jist of me haha ).

My name is Sarah, I am 20 years old and I live in driffield east yorkshire in a flat with my other half (boyfriend) Chris who is 21, and our lovely 5 month old daughter, Imogen.

I moved to east yorkshire nearly 6 years ago i think it is now, with my mum, dad and brother. we moved from camerton in bath, somerset. We lived in and around somerset for 9 years, after moving there from London, which is where we are all from.

I was born in st.thomas's hospital on the 22nd of march 1991, and lived in brixton and clapham over the first 2/3 years of my life. After that, like i said before, we lived all around somerset, from keynsham to midsomer norton, to camerton (moving several times in each town) before moving up here to northener land.

I dont wish to go on about my childhood in this blog, some terrible things happened in the past, and thats where they will stay, but any friends that do read this blog that i am close to or have trusted enough to tell will know exactly what i going on about. I may at somepoint go into detail about things in the future that involve this "thing" from the past, but we shall come to that bridge when the toll booths arrive. :)

I think i was about 12 when we moved, i remember starting school in year 8 so i must have been about that age. School was never a strong point of mine, i spent year 7 at writhlington school then year 8 onwards at driffield school which somehow seemed to have triggered years to follow of bullying and many years of lonelyness. (many of which are in the future after this following year might i add) well, at least untill late year 9 when i started to fit in with a group of people and i found myself being looked up to and people coming to me for help of if they were in trouble. however these kids seemed to be either older or younger then me, i never did have many friends in my own year.

It was in this group in year 9 when i first fell in love, oh yes that big word. Love. I remember him as clear as day. Tall, a year older then myself, long messy curly hair, sometimes wore glasses, nice blue eyes, played guitar... yes. That would be Rob (Andrew being his real name, but he insisted on being called rob). Having already lost my "V" a long time ago, i was willing to take his from him, and so we were together for about a month or 3 before i realised that he had used me as a rebound to get back at his ex, and so he broke my little heart and i hated him, yet loved him so. We still talked, and yet moreheartache was yet to come in the future from this evil, yet sexy being lol.

It was after my relationship with rob, that people realised that the quiet little weirdo that was often on her own wasnt actually as innocent as she seemed, and more and more people took interest in me. Not all was good attention, after playing two lads by the names of dom and josh at their own game, i got beaten to the floor several times, one incident involving the police.

i started keeping myslef to myself again untill i met jonno, one of robs friends. Now, from previous experiance, i didnt let myself fall for young jonno at all, but by hell he fell for me. To be quite honest, i dont think i loved him, it was just nice being with someone, and to be completly fair, i dont remeber much about the relationship, i remeber the "intermate" times, one day imparticular we found ourself in a bit of a sticky situation where his mother walked in, i said something totally blonde, and that was the end of us, plus a fling in the meantime haha with a lad names JJ.

After that, i had several on and off relationships. There seems to be a sudden blank in me memory at this point... oh hang on..

There was matty, we spent a fair few months together, something in these months had a big influence on my future. Me, matty and his friend paul all went to a music gig in pocklington. I rather enjoyed myself, made a few new friends, a few of which were in a band called, Offsyde. I never did find out their names. We were just, hanging around. When the gig ended and we were all waiting for lifts out in the car park, these new mates of mine started messing about and i joined in as matty just sat there with paul mumbling about random crap as boys do...

One of these lads was really fit, rather liked him alot, long blonde hair, he had a hat one, big georgous blue eyes... I didnt know his name but i liked him. he started flirting at this point, matty started paying attention. It wasnt untill this lad picked me up put me round his waist and tried laying me down in a puddle that matty decided that enough was enough and he dragged me off him and we walked away. I never did see this boy again. I never did catch his name, or his number infact. I just new he was in a band, called offsyde.

Sooooo...after matty was a girl named Sophie.. yes i am bisexual..then there was olly, who only lasted 1 day... LMAO. He decided it wasnt a good thing when we were at a school gig and ditched me, but in the corner of my eye i noticed a certain someone, beggining with an R, rather lonely moshing in the corner.. :P

Which brings me onto the next big thing to happen to me which starts again with rob believe it or not. After a few meeting ups, up at the graveyard and at that gig ( you can guess that i am into my moshers/goths whatever you call em, i consider myself a bit of a skatergirl, or whatever, into all that scene and music, hense the graveyard as an ace place to hang out on a lunch and break time) we found ourselves back together. This however was short winded.

I was good friends with a girl names zoe at the time, her mum was the organiser of all the gigs that were held at school, and they were organising a gig at the driffield show ground on march 11th 2007. (just went through the emails to find the date, haha, this has got my emotions running :') ) anyway..   and nice to think back about it all..

I met my friends, had a few non alcholic drinks, well, energy drinks actually, listened to some fab bands, my fave at the time was edmund and kemper, (who are no longer together) simpley because ben was the "fit" person at school. I was really enjoying myself untill i passed out and found myself sat in the first aid corner. It was that split second i heard an announcement over the tanoid... "CAN THE BAND OFFSYDE PLEASE COME TO THE STAGE..."

well, suddenly i was all better and dashed over to the stage, and there they all were, stood there getting ready to play.. i looked a little too keen, so i headed to the back of the group of fans that had suddenly surrounded me and kept watching. They played a set of songs, 4 of which i sang along to and during Dirty little Secret  which they were doing a cover off, i kept catching the eye of one particular bass player.

I remember vividly.. singing the words.. "i'll keep you my dirty little secret.." when we caught eye contact again.. it was almost like we were singing it to one another, and here its comes again.. that big word.. LOVE. Literatly at first sight. I remember him coming off stage and then just.. dissapearing. i went looking for him all the time haha. I told zoe about it and she insisted i just went up to him and asked him for his number, but i didnt have the courage soooo... she dragged me across to him lol. she actually dragged me. His name was steve. i got his number. and his email address. I am going to copy and paste the first email i recevied the day after and so on and so on... its a big part of me, and be glad i am sharing it with you :) BTW there is some dirty content ish, i was young and bad minded lol. It starts with him, then me. you should be able to tell.

" hey...just got back from gig...was awesome! u shud b so gutted u missed it
lol...its the best gig ive done with offsyde. and were coming up with loads
of new shit for this friday....its gonna be mint!...hope ur oki...i was
kinda thinking about u thru most songs we played tonight dirty little secret
was minted ;)...ooh and all the small things...i dunno was...was kinda
thinking about the bit where there rolling around on the beach lol...i reli
dunno...my gf was there...but i reli didnt speak to her much...grr...i reli
dunno...u've got my head spinning...lol...nyways...i have to get up early
for college so im gonna have a cig then go to bed...miss u too loves xxx "

************************

>Date: Mon, 12 Mar 2007 10:56:44 +0000
>
>btw..... that bit in all the small things wen there rolling around on the
>beach.... lol... tis good...n if i read the email correctli u wer thinkin
>ov me at the same time or summit... lol.... i orta warn u...i have a reli
>dirty mind...i like my sex lol... cnt go a week without it lol..... wat bou
>u??
>
>
>lvyaz n misyaz

********************************

lol...yeh...im pretty much the same...and yeh...that is what i was thinking
bout wen playing it. how are u wiv ur bf?...and no joke...ive actually been
wondering if uve emailed me all day. weird. nah im not reli too close to my
gf...tbh weve never had much of a relationship...but shes thought we have.it
aint gonna last long...ive been thinking bout breaking up with her for a
while...there reli isnt any kind of relationship there. err...the gigs at
woldgate college in pock from 6 til 8. falling fifty stories and another
couple of bands are playin. tickets are £1.50 on the dorr...but if u see me
b4 i'll give u some free tickets cos i can :) email back soon gotta go back
to college xxxx
***************************

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 11:31:39 +0000
>
>heya hun! i got badly bullied last lesson. i h8 chavz wah wah wah
>
>love u

************************

dont worry ill beat them up for u! lol...hope u having a good day...am reli
stressed...got soo much work to do...and not a lot of time to do it. it
sucks...we have like a week and a bit left at college and i have to do all
my work by then...serves me right for doin fuck all last year tho lol...
loves and misses lots xxxx
***************************

Date: Fri, 16 Mar 2007 09:26:14 +0000
>
>heya... ma bf reli aint talkin 2 me now... i cnt b bovad n i hope he wil
>get the message that i dnt wanna no nemor... it hrts...... ah wel ive got u
*************************8

hey hun...just woken up...my head is gonna be soo pissed off ive missed
lessons lol...well...yeh uve got me :)...well...im gonna talk to my gf today
and end it...thats gonna hurt too...well excited bout tonight lol...love u
xxxx

  (Spent the evening together here after a gig was amazing <3 )

***************************

hey hun...hows ur day?...hope u not getting too much shit...well...i feel
shit...lol...i reli miss u...i dont know how im gonna make it thru this
week...yeh...im dropping out of college aswell till nxt year...i reli cant
be bothered with it...have got a couple of jobs lined up...so hopefully i
shud be able to come and see u more often :)...ive been in college for all
of an hour today...and u txt me wen we were in an assembly lol...that was
fun..meh...and just waiting for my mum to come home so i can tell her im
dropping out...shes not gonna be happi lol...nyways...i love u...hope i see
u soon
************************ I was texting him here******************

hey hun am at kris' atm wont be home till like 10...will try call u then or
something...shoudl be on msn but not too sure...sorri am in a rush cos were
all off out...love u xxxx...ps i miss u loads...xxx...love u xxx

********************************

We were together for four months. we got engaged. It really was love, reading the emails amkes me happy to remeber just how happy i was, then i get to the emails where things changed. to cut it short, a guy called Johno turned up on the scene with a flashy car and he took me and a friend for a drive, and he made a move on me infront of my friend and she told steve, he made the move, yet he denied and i got the blame and that was it, the end of my lovely relationship.

I hung around in pocklington for a while afterwards with a friend of mine, bryan, who i am still good friends with to this day. I met a lovely lad called aarron and about 4 months after the me and steve incident, we got together. sadly, he wasnt all he seemd and he forced me into doing alot of drugs, and into other things, and because i was drugged up i dont really remeber much. i do however remeber one night where bryan turned up with steve. now that was a shocker. me and steve in the same room these days was rare. you could really feel the tension. bryan swears he could feel the electricity between me and steve where he was sat. we were directly opposite one another bry sat in the middle. i could look at steve and he would stare right back at me into my eyes. love was still there it was obvious. sadly, aarron took me away and i remeber calling for steve but i dont think anybody heard me. i was drugged and of i went again.
I went that night home with bryan. i know steve was in the car, and steve was staying at bryans.
Next day i got a text from steve, he had drove bryans car down to meet me. we spent an hour or two in a fprest together... a few days later steve told me he regretted it and it was a mistake. but it happened again. and we were back together in secret for a while. then came the worst task. telling aarron it was over. but as usual he just kept doing what he was doing and i found my self in a sticky situation. one night, he jumped out of bry's car while we were driving because he got that upset. i just cuddled up with steve that night. but a few nights later i was with aarron and steve turned up. steve didnt know i was drugged. i left that night and, i didnt see him untill last january, 2010. but i will go into that later.

So that was the end of all that. i lost so much weight and my health wasnt great but i got myself back together and i was back to being me. back in 6th form at school, being much better behaved lol. guess who came back on the scene though. Rob. haha.

Then that ended and i was with marley (luke) hanging around with him and james all the time as we were in a class of four people and it was us three and another lad who we didnt really talk to at all. then back with rob, then i left him for his best friend who i later got engaged to lol. then that ended too due to a pregnancy scare. then i got with paul (mattys friend from earlier) we broke up and then i got with chris. nearly three years later and here we are lol.

there was a hiccup or two lol, i we broke up and he went on a drunk rampage cos he missed me, i got with a girl named laura but was still sleeping with chris when i fell pregnant. I kept it and now here imogen lol. before this though. when me and chris first split before i got with laura, i went to pocklington to see and old friend called dave, and who turned up? steve. we all slept in same room that night, got quite drunk and jammed on guitar. was nice to talk to him :) but i missed chris so we got back together and kept imogen.

so 5months after giving birth, here we are, happy as ever. i have spent alot of today writing this inbetween feeds and changing bums and playing with her lol. so today hasnt been that exciting. been nice to remind myself how things used to be lol.


TTFN.... GooglyB

I had a fair few boyfriends, one sticking out in my memory most would be jack when we were in year 8. A relationship i never want to remember or think about any further. We hate eachother alot now. Just incase your wondering though, nothing ever happened. He was a cheat and a user and still is to this day, he has not changed one bit.